My
Birth Stories
I
wanted to share my personal birth stories of Setareh and Kala with other
mothers in our community. For me, Kala's birth experience was one of the most
life changing events of my life. I wanted to empower other women in trusting
their own bodies during their own birth process.
The
reality is that in our society, there is a lot of fear imposed on the actual
event of labor and all the things that can go wrong. It portrays women as
powerless beings that have to listen to everything their doctors say, including
unnecessary surgeries (C-Sections) or medications for labor. What many doctors
Do Not talk about are all the successful stories of natural or non-invasive
deliveries.
I realize
that not every woman chooses or desires to have a natural delivery. I
completely respect that. However,
for the women that DO desire a natural or less invasive birth experience, I am
here to say there is hope!
My first
birth experience with my daughter Setareh was quite traumatic. I had elected to have a natural
delivery and hired a wonderful Doula, Sarah Burns, who was truly amazing. My husband is an acupuncturist and
helped me immensely with acupuncture and the E-stim (electrostimulation device)
for reducing pain during labor. I was able to dilate about 8 centimeters on my
own but because it was such a long labor, I did not know how much longer it
would take to reach full dilation. We tried everything-acupuncture, eating,
walking, breathing, taking a bath, ear tacs, counter pressure with tennis balls
and massage. My stubborn baby
simply would not turn around therefore I endured 40 long hours of back
labor. This is normal labor times
ten! After the 40th hour of excruciating labor, I reached my
transition point and gave into getting a late epidural. What the anesthesiologist did not tell
me is that I was supposed to hold still while they administered the epidural.
She was very inconsiderate with her tone and went into my spine with the needle
during a contraction! I will never forget that moment. I could feel that she
did something wrong and had to try for another spot on my spine for the
epidural. After 30 minutes, I
finally dilated the 10 centimeters and Setareh literally slipped out within 30
minutes of pushing.
One would
think that the worst was over, but the hell had just begun. After 24 hours of delivering my
daughter Setareh, I began experiencing a horrific spinal headache. This is the kind of headache one should
never have to feel. It was as if someone was yanking down on my brain every
time I lifted my head up. I am an
extremely pain tolerate woman, but the spinal headache pain was worse than
labor for me. I remember thinking,
“Why the hell did the doctors not tell me about the horrible side-effects of
the epidural and that they were not supposed to administer the epidural so
late?” I was really upset
that I was in unnecessary pain and could not even lift my own baby to
breastfeed her. That was a very sad time for me as a first time mother.
After 10
long days of dealing with the excruciating pain of the spinal headache, my
husband called his colleague and asked for some acupuncture advice. She specialized in women’s health with
acupuncture and gave him a point’s protocol for relieving a spinal headache. My
husband Mukunda followed her advice and tried the acupuncture points on
me. The next day, my spinal
headache was miraculously gone! I am not kidding. No amount of pain medication was able to lift my headache,
just the acupuncture and belief that I was going to get better did the trick. Thank God my husband was able to
help me.
For a
month after the spinal headache, I was very weak and experienced a urinary
tract infection followed by a kidney infection and the flu! It was a real rough month for me. I was eventually able to get back to
normal after 2 months postpartum.
My
experience of birthing Setareh was truly traumatic for me. I knew that I was handed a pretty bad
birth “card” and wondered why I had to experience that. I am not writing this blog to scare
women from getting epidurals or receiving hospital interventions. I am simple trying to share my story in
order to raise awareness. If
someone had told me about epidurals and the way the hospitals are supposed to
follow protocols, I would have thought twice. Every woman has her own unique birth experience. Just because I had a horrible first
time delivery, did not mean that my second birth would be the same.
After
three years, I became pregnant with my second child. I was extremely happy to bring a sister or brother for Setareh.
Being an only child, I always wanted a sibling my whole life. Now I was able to give that gift to my
daughter.
In the
back of my mind, I was scared about how delivery would unfold for my second
baby, Kala. I was determined to educate myself and found resources for a safer,
natural delivery. At 8 weeks
gestation, I began working for a wonderful acupuncture and fertility center for
women. These women dealt with supporting fertility, pregnancy and postpartum. I became educated about great doulas,
natural childbirth classes and birth centers in Orange County.
When I
was six months pregnant, I enrolled in Hypnobabies, a childbirth class. This system is interesting because it
teaches women how to hypnotize themselves through the labor and birthing waves
(contraction). I had tried the
Bradley Natural birthing class with Setareh, and was excited to try something
different this time. This class was key for me. There are six to seven CD’s you
listen to, practice exercises and start visualizing your “ideal” birth
experience. In addition to
Hypnobabies, I found an experienced Doula (birth coach) in my area. She had lots of experience and was also
my Hypnobabies instructor. I also went to my chiropractor for some adjustments
and energy work around releasing the trauma of my first birth experience with
Neuro Linx, NET and EFT (emotional tapping). Lastly, I had some Healing Touch and Theta Healing sessions
with my dear friends Amielle Moyer and Don Phillips that significantly helped
me in creating a better birth experience.
All of
the new tools mentioned above truly made a difference. I was 100% determined to
make this birth much better, no matter what. I visited two birthing centers in OC since I was
contemplating a natural birth. I
was pretty fixed on the idea of delivering Kala in a birth center, but the
monetary amount was too high for me at the time. This felt like a huge set back
for me. I was scared of delivering
in a hospital again. I had to really work around the belief systems of fear and
resentment toward a hospital birth. I knew in my heart that I could still
create my ideal birth no matter the setting, as long as I had a strong “birth
team” with me. This birth team included my husband, doula, close friend Colena
(who had two home births herself) and grandma Mimi. I wanted to be able to be in my own “birth zone” while my
birth team supported my process.
Remarkably, this is exactly what occurred.
Kala’s
birth was amazing. I was two days
past my due date (Jan. 9th) and my husband induced the labor with
acupuncture. Pretty cool huh? I did not want to deliver too late because I tend
to birth large size babies. I took evening primrose oil internally about two
weeks before, started walking a bunch and was having lots of Braxton Hicks
about 3 weeks prior to labor.
Around 10 pm on January 11th, I started having real
contraction waves. These came on
real strong and then would subside. I was surprised how fast the labor began
after the acupuncture. I realized
that the labor pains were somewhat similar to Setareh’s birth and I began to
panic. My close friend Colena
reminded me that I have been through it before and that in any moment, the baby
could turn into the right position.
I remained optimistic and was determined to ride each “labor wave” or
contraction with the techniques from my Hypnobabies class. After 18 hours of labor, I knew that
the contractions were getting closer together. I was getting frustrated that
this was again a long labor. My
birth team reminded me that it would be over soon and that I had to let go of
all control and remain calm. That
was key. At about 20 hours, I felt
it was time to go to the hospital and call my doula. My contractions were about 8 minutes apart and I was ready
to have this baby! When I got to the hospital, I was 5 centimeters dilated and
80 percent effaced (cervix was thinned) and baby was in zero position. This
meant my baby was really low and my cervix was almost ripe and ready for
delivery. All I had to do was
continue dilating and then baby would slip out. I kept breathing, praying and hypnotizing myself through
each birthing wave. At about 26 hours, I asked to be checked and the doctor
said I was about 8 centimeters dilated. This is when I hit what they call
transition. I got really frustrated and thought I could not do it. My husband reminded me that I did not
want drugs in order to prevent a spinal headache at all costs. I was back on
board after that. They gave me the
option to rupture my membranes (break the bag of water) but I refused. The
reason why I refused was because of the extreme force of contractions with my
first birth with Setareh. I was determined to keep the level of pain and
contractions the same. My intuition was saying to not let them break my water
and I listened this time. Thank
God I did.
What
happened in the last hour of Kala’s birth was a miracle. I felt defeated since
my doula, midwife and husband all thought I should listen to the doctors and
have them break my water. At that moment, I checked in with my body. My body said No. I knew I had to TRUST my body and
intuition. So I went for a walk down the hospital corridor, got in squat
position during a contraction and then went into pelvic rocks. This position is great for birthing
because you are on all fours and can let your belly hang down to help descend
the baby. I started feeling a large contraction come on and then my water broke
on its own! It was an amazing moment.
I knew that God was telling me, “Now that you listened to your body, it
is all a piece of cake now.” I
felt the urge to push my baby out 20 minutes later. Approximately 45 minutes after my water broke, baby Kala
Talayeh Singh was born! She was an
amazing 8 pounds and 9 oz. baby girl.
We felt so blessed.
I was so
happy that I had visualized a better birth with Kala and that it
manifested. I was fully enrolled
in having a natural birth and knew my own capabilities physically, emotionally
and mentally. My recent birth
experience has inspired me to become a doula for other women. I feel that I can
help others through this challenging and beautiful transformation.
My goal
is to empower other women to follow their hearts in creating their ideal birth
experience. The key points I can stress are to LISTEN to your body and really
trust it. A woman’s body has been
designed to birth. I am not saying that natural birthing may be the right
decision for you, but if it is, there are a lot of success stories to prove it.
Thank you for taking the time to read about my birth stories. I pray for your
birth story to be as wonderful and amazing as possible.
Tina
Ghahramani-Singh L.Ac.
Licensed
Acupuncturist, Theta & Reiki
 |
| Kala and Setareh |
 |
| The Singh Family |
*Please keep in mind that these are natural tips to help your child's immune system and that I am not a M.D. or pediatrician. I am a licensed acupuncturist and can only prescribe natural Chinese herbs, vitamins or offer dietary advice. If your child does have a fever or is sick with a sore throat for more than a few days, you should definitely take them to see their pediatrician. Follow your intuition as a parent. You always know what's best for your child.
